Reflections of a Father

Jaslyn is growing up really quickly. It doesn't seem like that long ago when she was just a helpless few-months old babe who likes to be carried and rocked (she would protest every time we tried to sit down - you have to be constantly moving!). Watching her grow up has been a joyful and most fulfilling experience, and she has filled our lives with much joy and laughter. She's a happy toddler most of the time, and would give you mischievous looks while thinking of new ways of getting into trouble. She loves to sing, and can sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star really well (this was the song we used to sing to make her sleep).

Already, at 2 years of age, she's starting to assert her independence. She prefers to walk by herself and not hold hands, turning to us for help only when she needs to climb stairs, or when she spots a dog or cat in the vicinity. She will probably assert her independence more as she grows older; it's a disquieting feeling to see her growing so fast and becoming less and less of that helpless babe.

And I wonder what kind of a parent I will turn out to be? It's all very nice and jolly now - we sing nursery rhymes, play with puzzles and building blocks and read her favorite books (Mouse’s First Day of School, Harold & the Purple Crayon, Bible Stories for Children) together before bedtime. Very soon, she will start going to kindergarten, then primary school... And knowing Singapore's education system, will I become the type of parent who will feel pressurised into making sure that her homework is done properly, that she attends extra classes, tuition, etc.? Will I feel disappointment if she is unable to make the grade? How will she see me as a father? Will she give me a 'C' (as rated by Singaporean teens in a recent survey on dads)? Will she become a rebellious teen?

It's when I think of all these things that I realize how much I love her now, and how deeply I want to bring her up well... It's more than just a sense of responsibility of being a parent. You just love this being so completely that you never want her to be hurt... You want to be able to equip her with all the necessary skills to be able to cope with life... You want to bring her up well so that she will have a positive outlook in life and not resent you for bringing her into this world...

I pray that God will give me the wisdom to bring her up well... I pray that I will always love her with the same intensity... I pray that she will forgive her daddy for the mistakes that he might make while bringing her up... and I pray that she will always love her daddy.

Amen.